Archive for the “Is Drunken Friday Night Filkings” Category

If I’m sober enough to type, I’m sober enough to post.

Ennyhoo.

The latest news on bag management – and especially reagent management – in patch 6.0.2 is exciting and very smexxay. Allowing you to use your reagents bank from any location is a game-changer, no doubt about it.  I hope that cooking mats are included, not that that’s a big deal to me these days1.

Without attributing to any specific incident, let me say that the ladies of WoW are an especially awesome group of people.  I might get worn out trying to keep up with some of them2, but the thoughts that they put forth on the topics of gender equality are well worth the time it takes to read and digest. I may not agree 100%3 with all that is stated by them, but overall they fight the good fight and I am totally okay with that. Not that it matters, right ladies?

It occurs to me, though, that there are very few male bloggers whose opinions I cherish. A lot of them come from a position of privilege and seem to somehow carry that with them, but others have multiple points of view and therefore bring something interesting to the party. Which I find interesting4. I’ll always have interest in the various hunter fora 5 without actually endorsing them, but it’s the blogs that have opinions on the issues that matter that keep me coming back.

A long time ago I used Amiga computers pretty much exclusively, and participated in a FidoNet “echo” that the current WoW “twitterverse” has a strong resemblance to. Those people – more than any blog, forum, or website – epitomize the goodness to be found in the WoW social universe, in the same way that nothing that mattered on amiga,org seemed to matter in #AmigaGeneral.. Not the pustulant sewers of the WoW fora, and certainly not the reeking crevasses that represent the ‘discourse’ to be found on MMO-C, 4Chan, or Reddit.

Cultivate the proper list of tweeters on Twitter, and your life will be better in every respect.

Ai  swarez.


  1. Raids? I’ve heard of them. []
  2. And I’ve dropped a few twitterz because of that. []
  3. And I suspect that my XY chromosome arrangement renders my opinions to some of them irrelevant. []
  4. I remembered ‘Rades’ but not the name of his blog. Go figure. []
  5. BTW, WHU is back, Metzen be praised. []

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There is a certain song famous throughout the con / filking community that lends itself to … creative re-purposing. And thus we arrive at this moment of recursive filking. I regret nothing.

Original song copyright © 1977 by Leslie Fish
Copyright assigned to Random Factors

With apologies to Leslie Fish, who, most likely, understands perfectly.  And grateful hugs to Mrs Grimm, who inspired this whole sorry affair.

=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=

Fish in a barrel

When we zoned into Shattrath in need of R&R

The crew set out checking out every joint and bar

We had high expectations of their hospitality,

But found too late it wasn’t geared for raiders such as we!

Chorus

And we’re banned from Shattrath, everyone.

Banned from Shattrath, just for having a little fun.

We spent a jolly time there for just three days or four,

But Shattrath doesn’t want us any more.

 

The Raid Lead’s1 tastes were simple, but his methods quite complex.

We found him with five partners, each a different faction and sex.

The Vindicators were on their way – we had no second chance!

We ported him out in the nick of time – with the remnants of his pants!

Probably not Orv. Legally, that is.And we’re banned from Shattrath, everyone.

Banned from Shattrath, just for having a little fun.

We spent a jolly time there for just three days or four,

But Shattrath doesn’t want us any more.

 

The Dwarves would yield to none at putting down the brew.

They out-drank seven Kor’kron and a goblin Zepplin crew!

The Rogue also didn’t win, but he out-drank almost all.

And now they’ve got a Chopper on the roof of Khadgar’s Hall!

Most likely not kerosene, but keep away from open flamesAnd we’re banned from Shattrath, everyone.

Banned from Shattrath, just for having a little fun.

We spent a jolly time there for just three days or four,

But Shattrath doesn’t want us any more.

 

Our proper, cool Paladin got hammered on something green,

And hauled into an alley, where he suffered things obscene!

He sobered up much later and he’s none the worse for wear.

But every time he dons his pants, he starts to cuss and swear!

The joyous time of morning inspectionAnd we’re banned from Shattrath, everyone.

Banned from Shattrath, just for having a little fun.

We spent a jolly time there for just three days or four,

But Shattrath doesn’t want us any more.

Our Warlock disappeared awhile in the Demonic Bazaar,

buying an odd green potion “guaranteed to take her far.”

She came home, having grown horns, and an oddly cheerful heart,

and a painful way of walking with her feet a yard apart!

This is a good look for you.And we’re banned from Shattrath, everyone.

Banned from Shattrath, just for having a little fun.

We spent a jolly time there for just three days or four,

But Shattrath doesn’t want us any more.

 

Our quiet, bookish mage, well she won a  little bet,

by getting into the city’s portal teleportation net.

Now every time she makes a port to Shattrath, as you see,

The flesh gets there, but the clothes they wear, are nowhere to be seen!

Next stop: Auction House.And we’re banned from Shattrath, everyone.

Banned from Shattrath, just for having a little fun.

We spent a jolly time there for just three days or four,

But Shattrath doesn’t want us any more.

 

Our priest loves all Humanity, her private life is quiet

The Vindicators took her in for a Lower City riot.

We found her in the city jail, coughed up and bailed her out –

intact except for a funny limp, and a tendency to shout!

Pull my finger.And we’re banned from Shattrath, everyone.

Banned from Shattrath, just for having a little fun.

We spent a jolly time there for just three days or four,

But Shattrath doesn’t want us any more.

 

Our Druid loves exotic plants – the plants all love her, too.

She took some up to the Scryer’s Tier and we wondered what she’d do.

‘til Voren’thal the Scryer called, and swore upon his life

that a gang of plants entwined his house and then seduced his wife!

Somebody whip up a nice vinagrette.And we’re banned from Shattrath, everyone.

Banned from Shattrath, just for having a little fun.

We spent a jolly time there for just three days or four,

But Shattrath doesn’t want us any more.

 

A gang of Hordies landed2, and nobody seemed to care.

They stamped into The World’s End to announce that they were there.

The raiders were all busy there, and invited them to play,

But the Hordies only looked at them, and turned and ran away.

Who let those guys in?And we’re banned from Shattrath, everyone.

Banned from Shattrath, just for having a little fun.

We spent a jolly time there for just three days or four,

But Shattrath doesn’t want us any more.

 

Our team is Stormwind’s Finest, and our record is our pride.

And when we play we tend to leave a trail that’s pretty wide.

We’re sorry for the wreckage and the riots and the fuss.

At least we’re sure that Shattrath won’t be quick forgetting us!

You said there weren't any guards!And we’re banned from Shattrath, everyone.

Banned from Shattrath, just for having a little fun.

We spent a jolly time there for just three days or four,

But Shattrath doesn’t want us any more.


  1. Orvillius used without permission. []
  2. May or may not resemble actual Hordies. []

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Everybody knows how awesome Hunters are1. But nobody’s actually put it to song, as far as I know.

Until now.

The merry miscreants at Warcraft Hunters Union2 have come up with a little something. Consider it the hunter community’s Winter Veil present to you. Go forth and thank them.


  1. This is why we keep telling people, to get the word out. It’s one of many services we provide. []
  2. I don’t usually link there because, you know, gold ads.  But I had to make this exception. []

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Alexander the Great’s chief bouncer has gone to join his master. In case anyone didn’t catch that, Ratshag Actual has made his final curtain call.  We may have been on opposite sides of the world of Azeroth in a thousand different ways, but here’s one Dwarf that’s gonna miss the big lug.

firelands

Through these fields of destruction, baptisms of fire.

I’ve witnessed your suffering as the battle raged higher.

naxxx

And though they did hurt me so bad in the fear and alarm,

You did not desert me, my brothers in arms.

hellfire

There’s so many different worlds,

So many different suns.

deepholme

And we have just one world,

But we live in different ones.

auberdine

Now the sun’s gone to hell, the moon riding high.

Let me bid you farewell; every man has to die.

uther

But it’s written in the starlight, and every line on your palm;

We’re fools to make war on our brothers in arms.

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With heartfelt apologies to Katy.

(Sung to the tune of "Last Friday Night")s

There's a bear in the air!

Someone’s tossing little bears,

Punting turtles through the air,

Chasing after ghostly deer (why, exactly, isn’t clear).

Hairy hairy spider legs,

Toting fire birdie eggs

Who’s that druid over there?

Why’s he got such burny hair?

I know you're not pointing that thing at me, right?We’ve unlocked some stuff

and it’s pretty buff,

it’s true!

Oh yeah!

It’s a fiery blur

but I got some epic loots!

Look but don't touch, big fella!

(Damn!)

 

Hot Hyjal Nights!

Yeah we waved at all the mobs,

and we did the dirty jobs,

collected all the bits and bobs.

Hey guys!

Hot Hyjal Nights!

Yeah we blew holes in the ground,

brought in boulders by the pound,

completely got lost in the crowd!

Can I get a drink over here?

Hot Hyjal Nights!

Then we measured all the pools,

evaded all them pownage fools,

(they don’t play by all the rules).

 

Hot Hyjal Nights!

But they keep the fires bright

so no way we’re gonna stop.

Whoa!

 

Hot Hyjal Nights!

Do it all again!

 

Hot Hyjal Nights!

Do it all again …

Don't fall to pieces there!

Aggra’s chasing after Thralls,

gotta help her catch ‘em all!

Slap some band-aids on some bros,

wait a minute, where’d they go?

Wispy wispy round and round,

planting seedlings in the ground,

them’s some pretty angry vines,

hey, give that mob to me, it’s mine!

Do you mind? I was DoTting that!

We’ve unlocked some stuff

and it’s pretty buff,

it’s true!

Oh yeah
It’s a fiery blur

but I got some epic boots!

Shut up, you.

(Balls!)

 

Hot Hyjal Nights!

Yeah we rounded up the owls

and assorted other fowls

then we had a little howl!

 

Hot Hyjal Nights!

Got the Armorer at last

new recipes are such a blast!

Boy, those Marks are spent so fast!
Hot Hyjal Nights…

 Cheer along with us!

E-P-I-X   E-P-I-X

E-P-I-X   E-P-I-X

E-P-I-X   E-P-I-X

E-P-I-X   E-P-I-X

WOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

[ Sax solo]

Play it, you saxy thang!

Hot Hyjal Nights!

Yeah we danced around with Thrall

and he really had a ball

just can’t seem to stop at all!

 

Hot Hyjal Nights!

Yeah, we spent a lot of gold,

and we got a little bold.

Hope these dailies don’t get old!

 

Hot Hyjal Nights!

We went running round and round,

burning birdies all got downed,

for the raids we will be bound!

 

Hot Hyjal Nights!

Embergrises by the ton,

watch those silly druids run!

Thank the Light we’re almost done!
Hot Hyjal Nights!

Guess we’ll

do it all again!

Hot Hyjal Nights!

Do it all again …

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“I have spread out my hands all the day unto a rebellious people…
Stand by thyself, come not near to me; for I am bloggier than thou.”

indie1 I’m so indie that my tabard don’t fit.
You wonder out loud, “Grimmy yo why you come so ill-equipped?”
Because being all prepared to get in the raid is selling out
and I ain’t even about to relinquish indie clout.
indie2

I look confused, like I just got out of Uldum.
My rhyme style reflects this.
Use my overdeveloped sense of irony to deflect dis-
missiles, exploding all around me.
Unpromoted, don’t know how you found me.
Soundly situated in obscurityland,
famous in inverse proportion to how cool I am,
and should I ever garner triple-digit fans
you can tell me then there’s a blogger I ain’t indier than.

indie3 (He’s so indie) Indie I be.
Ain’t an obscurer blogger out there who be indier than me.
(He’s so indie) Indie, and how!
Come not near to me, for I be indier than thou.
(He’s so indie) Indie indeed;
if I were on WoW Insider, you could call me mainstream.
(He’s so indie) Indie I am.
All the better for the Grimmtooth to leverage his brand.

“I am sought of them that asked not for me;
I am found of them that sought me not…
These are a smoke in my nose.”

Delving deep into my inbox when I discovered
fan mail for Grimmy! It kind of hovered
before my vision. I made a decision to open it up.
It said, “Yo, Grimmtooth, you suck!”
Whew! I was worried for a second that I’d started to earn love,
seeing all my indie points burned up.

indie4 Next you know, I’m meeting Ghostcrawler in dive bars,
doing the soundtrack for the Twisted Nether tie-in with DA,
paying subscription fees, owning things
flamin’ peeps that stand in things.
It’s like a nightmare (yep), ‘cause that ain’t casual (nope).
Yes, I’m indier than thou within my casual space.
And if you’re slow on the uptake, I’ll lay it out:
casual hardcore is a religion to which you got to be devout.
Must be seen as in between unpopular and hated
or else get excommunicated.


indie5

– with respectful apologies to MC Frontalot (also to Megan – we miss ya!). MP3 available at Front’s site as well. Go buy his stuff.

The longer I’ve been following and participating in this post over at Disciplinary Action (with a sidebar here), the more I think that I sound like this guy.

Yo.

Also, I want to make something clear.

  • The post at DA offers excellent advice.  It is a well written article and deserves to be read on those merits alone. 
  • I am an unabashed DA fanboy.
  • You can disagree with someone about something and still be a fanboy. :)
  • It’s OK to promote. And it doesn’t automatically follow that if you do so, you become the proprietor of a soulless blog full of ads and fluffy posts strip mined in Arizona.
  • It’s OK to not promote. And if you don’t, it does not follow that you fail at blogging.
  • DA is da bomb.

That is all.

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Borrowing a little bit from Ratshag, and a meme scampering around the blogosphere1, here’s a little little Friday fluff.

Some songs evoke certain memories about certain aspects of each of the toons that live here. Fiaella, for example, evokes Fight Fire with Fire as she prepares her way towards Northrend.  Others are not so clear-cut, such as Thrown Down in Illume’s backstory. A lot of times, the stories behind them haven’t been written here yet, but those aspects continue to live within them. All in good time.

  • GrimmtoothDon’t Hold Back (Alan Parsons Project), This Old Man (MC Frontalot), The Best of All Possible Worlds (The Little Willies), Surfing Bird (The Trashmen)
  • JasraTurn It On (Lindsey Buckingham), Beautiful Life (Ace of Base), You Owe Me Nothing in Return (Alanis Morissette), On My Way (Mike Koglin feat Beatrice)
  • FloramelGet Over It (OK Go), Into the Night Life (Cindy Lauper) Criminal (Fiona Apple), Hello my Treacherous Friends (OK Go), The Nightmare (Stevie Nicks). And definitely not Flora’s Secret (Enya)
  • IllumePast in Present (Feist), Thrown Down (Fleetwood Mac), Looking for My Life (George Harrison), Connected (Kendi), On a Good Day (Oceanlab), I Will Find You (Clannad)
  • Fiaella – Fight Fire with Fire (Kansas), You Once Told Me (Andain), Zombie  (The Cranberries)
  • SlithmereDestiny Rules (Fleetwood Mac), What is Life? (George Harrison), Connections are More Dangerous than Lies (The Ataris), Who Needs Sleep? (Barenaked Ladies)
  • Kutath – Jungle Bill (Yello) and Oh Yeah (same), Kryptonite (3 Doors Down)
  • OrleeBecoming Insane (Infected Mushroom), Somebody (Blue October), Fiesta Loca (Dallas Superstars), Warrior’s Dance (The Prodigy)
  • AmusmosesAmos Moses (Jerry Reed) (What, you thought it was a coincidence?), The Dogs of War (Pink Floyd), Crash Burn (Blues Traveler)
  • YarleyInteresting Times (Mika), Faster Kill Pussycat (Oakenfold feat. Britney Murphy), Raindrops (Stunt), Facts about Cats (Timbuk 3)

  1. No, not that meme! []

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