One of the predictions I made for Blizzcon 2013 was that, yet again, Blizz would do or say something stupid that would offend women, the LGBT community, or some combination thereof.
Unfortunately, they didn’t disappoint.
It was quickly noted by many that Warlords of Draenor appeared to be quite the sausage-fest. There were one or two obviously female characters depicted in the trailer, but overall it was all about the bros, big hairy-chested man-orcs swinging axes and riding warg.
Given this presentation, it was easy for many in the audience to feel left out.
For sake of Consistency
This is a little difficult to unwind due to the nature of the expansion.
The story is that Garrosh steals Doc Brown’s DeLorean and goes back to Draenor to the point in time before Grommosh Hellscream drinks Fel blood, and somehow prevents that from happening. Rather than fall into servitude to the Legion, the Horde becomes united as the Iron Horde. They’re still gonna attack Azeroth, but now it’s at maximum strength.
Given the physical modeling of characters in WoW, it’s already established that male or female, Gnome or Orc, if there is a class that interests you, then sky’s the limit. A female Warrior dual-wielding two giant chunks of iron on sticks – no problem. And thus, there is no physical reason for any of the major characters to be one gender over another.
Except the big "reason".
See, every one of these Orc clan leaders is a figure of Lore. They already ARE. It’s obvious that Blizz wants to revisit these lore characters, and so "they must exist as they did in lore". And, unfortunately, these characters were created in less progressive times, when the testosterone-fueled character design studio was fixated on the Noble Savage trope, so we got a big sausage-fest.
And "we’re stuck with them."
Give me a break
Actually, that’s a bit of a cop-out. "We already haaaad them, so we’re stuuuuck with them, we can’t chaaaange it, it would be inconsiiiiiistent!", "they" bleat. That’s the easy, cop-out answer. Technically correct, for sure, but it also ignores one whopper of an important factor.
Namely, history has already been changed. Garrosh effectively undid everything from the First War era onward. And since they are no longer besotted by Fel blood, he has also changed the history of Orcs on Draenor. With that in mind, it is therefore possible that one or more of the Draenic Clans is under new management. If you accept the "Klingon model" for Orc culture, then this becomes even more likely. Easy to imagine that one of the clan leaders LUCKED OUT with the fel blood thing being the ONLY thing that stopped him being murdered in his sleep by a slightly less macho, but infinitely sneakier, female clan-leader-to-be.
Given all the variables we DO know, it’s laughably easy to come up with viable scenarios for any of the clan leaders to be supplanted to a woman within or outside of his clan.
So … nope, not buying it.
They’re doing this because those are the characters they want to revisit. Too bad they can’t own up to it.
The U Factor
All of this is in spite of what we do NOT know about the story of the expansion. We have heard plaintive cries from Blizz HQ that they are indeed cooking up totally awesome female characters that will blow our nipples clean off, from fifty yards even.
And that’s great, but we’ve been promised many things in the last nine years, and not all of them have come to pass, or were even (apparently) worked on in good faith. Faith doesn’t always require deeds, but it can be broken by (mis)deeds or lack of deeds where they are required. We’ve been told "have faith" multiple times and seen that faith not fulfilled almost as often. Not because anyone is being malevolent – I don’t really think so. But because nobody in a position to make a difference actually *cares* enough to enact positive action to make women or other groups – such as the LGBT community – feel like they’re being included or at least not being belittled – as part of the culture of this game.
As one small example. There was a big blow-up at one Blizzcon over the hateful words of a particular death metal "artist". We were told that Mistakes Were Made and that We Will Make This Up To You. And yet, in Northrend, you can still find Gorge the Corpsegrinder, a clear tribute to this man. Years after the event, they have done nothing to remove this tribute. Is it because they just don’t care, or because they feel we’ll overlook this eventually if they just lay low and not make a fuss.
So on one hand we have the Grand Unknown. A promise, implicit and explicit, that things to come will make things better. On the other hand, we have a track record of failure to meet those promises with deeds.
It’s lonely Out There
There is nothing worse from a social aspect than being among a group of people that have a strong bond that you don’t share. All the little -isms that pull cliques together also tend to push us apart. And seeing an activity, show, book, story, or game that has nobody that you can relate to only enforces that feeling.
A game that focuses on alien creatures already removes a potential relation that you might have with them based on species alone. At that point, all we have are the most ambiguous cues – tetrapod construction, bipedal locomotion, two eyes, two ears a face, and gender. And for 50% of the world’s population, they see one less thing to relate to in the WoD reveal.
Mistakes were made
Unlike the Corpsegrinder incident, we don’t even get a mea culpa out of this one. Why is that? Do they feel that they’ve already paid that pound of flesh and shouldn’t have to all over again? Do they feel that the pro-female WoW audience just won’t be happy with anything and have given up? Do they feel that siccing one of their female CMs on to the Twitter community will diffuse the situation without having to actually provide substance? Or are they just so tone-deaf to the point that they should be banned from ever having band instruments?
I’m rather fond of that theory myself. It beggars belief, but I really do think they haven’t ever gone out of their way to do a good PR review of what they’re about to say at a public gathering. I have strong doubts that anyone at Blizz has ever pursued training in this area. I have strong doubts that they really think they might even need to consider looking into it.
And our fandom feeds any potential arrogance they might have to the point that they don’t see that they NEED that kind of internal support, so they keep doing it over and over again and then sobbing nobody understands us! when the inevitable backlash comes.
So here’s the thing. They can make press releases after the fact saying that they made mistakes and will try harder to not do it gain, but that’s an empty promise with no measurable goals, so job’s not done until they say it’s done. They like that level of control.
But until they believe it internally and take real, measurable action to correct what I believe are massive internal cultural flaws at Blizzard, they will continue to talk first, think later, and try to ignore the problem.
I’ve reached a crossroad
I love this game, and I love the people I get to play alongside. I love the dialogs that get opened, I love the characters I meet (NPC and PC), I love the community, I kinda like the lore, and I like the potential that the game, ever after nine years, offers.
What I do not like is being lied to. I do not like being treated like an idiot that will keep on giving out my money just "Because We’re Activision Fucking Blizzard, that’s who." I do not like people saying "we will do a thing" and then pretending they didn’t.
At the end of the day you can piss and moan about lack of Flight until 6.1 and I’m just going to make faces. But if you choose to short-shrift an entire segment of population based on gender, lie about it, and then barely do just enough to shut "them" up until the next time, time and time again, eventually I’ll run out of patience. I don’t care if you’re Activision Fucking Blizzard.
So I am here at the end of PandaLand-point-four watching to see what they do next. If what they have coming up looks half-assed, begrudging, or an otherwise insincere delivery on the promise they made in Blizzcon’s wake, it will be too much for me to bear anymore.
And, yes, by Mammon, that is a completely unfair and arbitrary standard that I choose. But here’s the deal, Blizz. You had the chance to set those standards, to provide measurable milestones to show good faith in this, and you blew it. You have hidden behind a pile of bullshit, and have dared us to tell you it smells like bullshit.
So, this is me. Drawing the lines and setting the standards by which I will judge. This is my story to tell. And I will choose the setting in which to tell it.
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Well, the big Reveal has taken place at Blizzcon, and we now know details of the next expansion. Hopefully you followed #TeamFaff at Godmother’s liveblog. I had to bail out right after the reveal because we had our weekly planning meeting at work, and the boss was most unsympathetic to the cause.
Now that the dust has settled, and I’ve had time to breathe, let’s talk about it.
I made some cheeky predictions, so let’s see how I did!
There will be an expansion announcement and it will be called "Warlords of Draenor"
That was a pretty easy one, really. If they didn’t, it would have been ugly. The title this time was given to us by the trademark offices in several countries. +2 for me.
It will involve a new "lost" continent of Draenor
It’s Draenor, Jim, but not as we know it. Instead of a lost continent floating about in the Twisted Nether, we’re going back to the past. Specifically, Garrosh escapes captivity and through means as of yet unrevealed, journeys back in time to prevent the Old Horde from becoming subjugated by the Burning legion. What we, the denizens of Azeroth, then face is the Iron Horde – the united fury of the Orc clans united and at full strength.
My score: –1 (net total 1)
Alleria and Turalyon will return
No, they won’t. Though, to be fair, the new world of Old Draenor doesn’t have them to begin with. Since the First War didn’t happen, they didn’t get trapped when the Portal was closed. But THAT is a whole new can of worms, something I’ll exposit in another post.
Score: –1, for a net of 0.
It will involve the Burning Legion
Not so much. While it’s obvious that the Legion will be involved at SOME point, the net effect is that the Orcs turn their backs on the Legion and the power it offers. But the overall theme of this expansion is All Orc, All the Time.
Score: –1, now netting –1.
Ethereals will be the new player race
There will be no new player races.
-1 for me, for a net of –2. Oh dear.
Outland will not get revamped
Technically true, though they do move the door a bit. Since the history leading to Outland hasn’t happened, Outland becomes an alternate timeline, and thus its entrance is moved to the Caverns of Time. Which I have to admit, is a pretty good way to deal with it.
I’m going to claim a win, netting me back to –1.
The new level cap will be 100
Got that one right. So we’ll see a realm first Level 100 in 2 days, not 1.
+1, back to breaking even.
There are no indications of any new classes
Got that one right, too. This will make WoD the first WoW expansion where neither a new class or race was introduced.
+1, and I’m back in the black.
Release Date: Holidays, 2014
No mention was made of a release date. This is my surprised face. Though I keep hearing rumors of a Q1/Q2 release timeframe, there is nothing official to back that up that I am aware of.
No points either way.
You face Jaraxxus!
I was close, but he appears in Hearthstone, not WoD.
-1 to zero me out again.
I totally didn’t call it, but it’s such a big one that I think I deserve to be dinged for missing it.
And that’s the news: all character races are to get remodels with higher poly counts and a lot of new emotes and expressions. The samples shown – especially for the female Gnome – were amazing.
There IS a tiny bit of drama here, in that it’s stated that there are currently no plans to offer a free appearance change when the changes go into effect. But the door’s been left open just a crack, so let’s wait and see.
-1, putting me back in the red.
Every Blizzcon, Blizz tends to offend someone, and this year was no exception. After the buzz died down, people started noting a highly testosterone-driven theme to this expansion. Female characters, when mentioned at all, were either minor in comparison, or they were told to go home, take care of the baby, and make Thrall a sammich.
I’ll revisit this at some future time. Other than to say, if you throw your keyboard over this, you know what happens? It breaks, dumbass. So I guess you showed them.
So I get a point there, bringing me back to even.
The overall results are
As is usually the case with this sort of thing, if you guess wildly the best you can really hope for is 50/50, which I did achieve. I was wrong as much as I was right. But I’m not displeased with the result.
And now the other stuff
One of the big things for this expansion seems to be "systems", our friend GhostCrawler’s domain.
There’s a big change to bags and inventory – a lot of items are going account-wide similar to how companion pets are handled now. This’ll clear up tons of space in our bags. A lot of materials are going from 20 to 100 per stack, freeing more room. And Tabards are a possibility for this, hooray! Also, quest items, though I’m worried for Archmage Vargoth’s Staff.
Another big "system" change will be "item squish". Basically, the huge numbers we currently have will be reduced by several orders of magnitude, possibly to double or even single digit values, with some sort of hidden scaling system to keep it manageable.
Related to that, itemization is changing drastically, with most secondary stats like Hit and Expertise going away and primary stats possibly varying by spec, effectively ending the spec-change-shuffle.
You will be able to bring one character to 90, or "boost", per account. So if you decide to change to a different raiding main, for example, you won’t have to spend weeks getting up to raiding level. I’ve been pushing for this for a while, because I hate that the lower level zones continue to get gimped in order to make life easier for raiders. Raiding and the leveling game are two different activities, and changes in one should not make life harder or less satisfying for either group. By allowing a character boost, they provide raiders with what they want without punishing those that are not raiding. Right now, it’s one per account, but I suspect that there will be infrastructure in place to make additional boosts possible as a paid service. And I think that’s a good thing.
This is actually an "in"-convenience feature, but another bit of drama – including threatened or actual sub cancellations – is that flight will not be available in Draenor until at least the 6.1 patch. I’m okay with that. In fact, if they want to get rid of flight completely, I’d be completely behind it. But a lot of people are NOT thrilled.
Garrisons were an unexpected new feature, which more or less amount to a cross between player housing and the Tillers farm. Other trade skills in addition to cooking will be involved, you get minions, and they can do things for you even while you’re offline. It’s all rather non-specific right now, and it’s hard to get a read on it, but overall it has been well received.
The big change to raiding is that all levels of raiding will be flex in WoD except the highest form, which will be called Mythic, and serves a step further than Heroic. The raid difficulty is tuned for 20 players, which Blizz claims is important since tuning at that difficulty will be too complex otherwise.
And that’s a wrap. I will be revisiting several of these topics in upcoming posts, but I wanted to first set the stage, as it were, for what is to come. Specifically, I want to discuss the lore, Blizzard’s ongoing PR issues, the game mechanics that are changing, and probably more lore, because, damn
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Welp, we enter the week leading up to Blizzcon 2013, and everybody in the twitterverse is all excite. There has been a lot of speculation about what we might see at this fabled gathering this year. Allow me to contribute my hysterical speculations.
What we know
- 5.4.0 is the final content patch for Mists. What we’re looking at is pretty much as far as this goes for this expansion – it’s the ICC of Pandaria. Which more or less leaves us to our own devices until the next expansion, which has not been announced at this time. Yes, there is a 5.4.1, for which you have already received a patch (though it doesn’t do much yet). That’s a far cry from more real content though.
- Ergo if there are any "content" patches beyond 5.4.0, we can probably expect more time-killing activities ala land-of-the-endless-dailies or Timeless Isle (this is more opinion than fact).
- We also have this roadmap, posted in 2007 and allegedly from 2003 which has proven to be extremely accurate in general terms. You can see all the pieces here, though sometimes they arrive in different order than originally planned. For example, Pandaria was originally going to be a part of a far larger expansion, from the looks of it, which would have included bits of the Cata expansion as well. I guess what I’m saying here is that looking here for direction is not entirely out of line, based on past experience, but it requires a heavy amount of interpretation.
- If one goes by that roadmap, we have one major piece not yet addressed – The Burning Legion.
Now we Speculate
What follows is a series of thoughts based on what we have seen out in the wider internets. I’m not claiming to know what’s going to happen, but I do reserve the right to crow just a little for each item I get right.
There will be an expansion announced
That’s probably obvious to most, but it should be noted that Blizz has not stated that there will be. Reasonably, the announcement will take place on the first day. What we see is "World of Warcraft: What’s Next" and World of Warcraft: The Adventure Continues" when we look at the Blizzcon schedule.
What we do NOT see is availability of the expansion for playtesting, as we had with MoP. I do NOT recall if that was actually part of the schedule last time. It would be helpful to be able to remember.
Given all the above, however, one thing we do know is that we’re done with MoP. If they don’t announce here, it’ll be at some smaller trade show later on, and I don’t think they’re going to do that to their flagship product.
Ergo, now is the time.
The expansion will involve the Burning Legion.
We don’t have a lot to go on here except for that fabled road map. Considering its accuracy, I’m inclined to look to it for inspiration.
There is also the fact that many, many of the in-game and out-of-game lore pieces have been very strongly focused on the Legion and things around it. The adventures of Anduin, for example, as well as Wrathion. We KNOW the Legion is going to be a huge part of WoW at some point, it’s a confrontation that is being teased in lore and legend and prophesy. Between them and the Old Gods, we’re looking at 80% of what threatens Azeroth. Maybe more.
The expansion will be called "Warlords of Draenor"
I admit this may be premature, in that the trademark was applied for outside the US and only a week before the Con. However, it does fit in with the story arc we’ve been uncovering.
An alternate, The Dark Below, does have some bearing on the Old Gods thread, but if I remember correctly, that was discredited not long after it appeared in trademark sites.
One should also remember that the same trademark sites have been used for the Warlords title, and take both with a grain of salt.
The expansion will involve a new, "lost" continent of Draenor.
One should remember that Outland was not Draenor, but simply a part of it, one continent on a larger world. Given Blizz’s penchant for pulling entire lost continents out of their electronic butts, doing so on a world about which we know SO LITTLE makes a certain amount of sense.
Also, discovery of this continent leads us to …
Alleria and Turalyon will return
Theory: they found their way onto the lost continent and were either detained or could not find the way back. After many years of research and hard work, they’ve opened a portal that leads back to the dormant one in Zangarmarsh. Or maybe Blizz invents some new sort of Twisted Nether transport vehicle similar to a cross between an airship and a sailboat (The AD&D Astral plane was full of such vehicles, and they were super cool). After many years and with the assistance of a stranded colony of Ethereals, they have returned in style.
It should be noted that these two have been teased for at least two expansions in the "hints and tips" pane of the loading screen – which is one reason I leave that feature turned on.
The Ethereals are a new player race
I’m not sure if they’ll be a new player race similar to the Pandas or not (bi-factional) or if they’ll belong to one faction and some other race fill in for the other. If the latter, I have no idea who it would be.
It’s all weaksauce regardless. I am basing this on the merest whiff of a hint dropped here and there.
But if they are a new player race, I bet the starting zone is associated with where Alleria and Turalyon were stranded.
Outland will not get a revamp
There was a lot of joyful / hysterical speculation in Twitter especially that Outland would at last get its remodel and quest streamlining. I doubt this myself because (a) the Cata remodel of Azeroth was not a cracking success and (b) they hate going back to old stuff.
There was the Twitter sub-thread that Outland would be revamped and be NEW content for the new expansion. I doubt this because then they’d have to fill in the 60-70 leveling gap from bits of Azeroth and/or Northrend, and I doubt they want to do something so complicated. HOWEVER, I do consider this to be more likely than revamping it "just because".
The new level cap will be 100
The most blatant clue about this is that several BoA items drop from Garrosh that "require level 90 to 100", which is an odd thing for the tooltip to say if the next expansion is good for only five levels, I think you’d agree.
The less obvious clues are back in that roadmap. It’s fairly clear from looking at it that bits of Wrath, Cata, and MoP were meant to come together as one large expansion. For example, Worgen were possibly supposed to be part of the same expansion as Pandarens. And, thus, the remaining pieces do seem to come together as a whole expansion, rather than a mini-expansion such as what we’ve been getting.
There are no indications of any new class
That’s not entirely true. Consider the Pandaren. Outside of the roadmap doc, the only reference to Pandaren in game terms was as a practical joke or two. Blizz insisted that there could be no possible way that they’d ever make it into the game as a serious race.
What class has also been likewise the source of jokes and amusement? Why, the Bard, of course! So there’s that.
More likely, though, I think we might see another attempt at a Hero Class, this time with less problems than the DK rollout. Possible candidates: that have been hinted at here and there: Archdruid (from Druid, possibly from Stormrage himself), Archmage (from Mage, possibly from Jaina), Necromancer (Warlock, possibly related to the Green Fire quest line), Ranger (from Hunter, possibly via Alleria), and Vindicator (from Paladin, possibly related to Turalyon)
Since this is such an empty bucket, anything that fills it will be no particular surprise.
Release will be in the Holiday timeframe, 2014
I know, someone once asked me, "surely you can’t expect people to wait 14 months for an expansion?" This’ll be closer to 12, which is a reasonable cycle but one that is largely devoid of content, nonetheless.
Expect beta testing to be over the summer, with the final polish going on around August.
Will they announce that this is the schedule. Well, they never have before, so I’m doubtful.
YOU FACE JARAXXUS
Crap. Not again.
Seriously, we need the Dance Studio for this one. Obviously.
Probably. I could hope to see things like ink-derived armor dye, but there is no indication. We’ll probably see at least one more trade skill streamlined as Blacksmithing has. But most people will focus on the Big Picture, and who can blame them?
Bottom line is, I have a suspicion about where things will go, but no hard facts to back it up. Clues are not facts.
I do, however, think this particular story line would be very, very cool.
I’ll be watching this as much as anyone else. Excite!
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Here’s the problem
Not one to mince words here. If you are using MMOUI Minion, WoW Interface’s “auto-updater” tool, you need to know that it’s either broken or going to break soon for you.
MMOUI Minion is based off of the Java virtual platform (Often referred to as the JRE, or Java Runtime Environment). This is a programming language that has gained so much mass that it has curled in the universe around it, giving itself its own “platform” status, similar to “PC” or “Mac” or “Amiga”. This is marketed as a virtue – “write once, deploy anywhere” – and for that reason it is very popular among non-system programmers – web programmers, smart phone programmers, etc.
Java is owned by Oracle, and is very aggressively promoted and supported. There are regular updates, and therein lies the problem. Recently, Java 7 was released and many people, when asked, said “Yes” to the question, “Would you like to update for free?”
Now, normally this sort of thing has two aspects.
- There is the HOORAY aspect in which everyone benefits from new features, either immediately or somewhere down the road. Not necessarily YOU, mind you, but maybe a programmer, corporation, or ad man somewhere is cheering the release of Java 7 right now.
- There is also an OMG SADFACE aspect, in which some things cease to work. This is not unexpected. Interfaces change, and programs may need to be recompiled or rewritten to accommodate that. In that case, you go to the website of the offending program, look at the forums, and find out when they plan on updating the program so that it works again.
I think you see where this is going.
MMOUI Minion was written in such a way that it broke when Java 7 was installed. Well, that’s the breaks, but surely there’s a fix ready to go. After all, any pro Java coder will probably be working on that well ahead of the Java 7 release, using beta releases of the platform, much as addon authors do with the PTR so that their addons are ready when the patch day comes.
I searched in vain, and finally found some comments on the WoW Interface fora that alluded to the Minion app being abandoned. There was no announcement. There was no posted workaround. The download page is still there. For the love of the Titans, there wasn’t even a bug report! Well, maybe there was, but I can’t see it. All bug reporting has been redirected to an external website – behind an authentication wall, so you can’t even RESEARCH whether a fix is forthcoming.
This kind of behavior just gets on my nerves. I mean, at least post an announcement and a workaround, or an announcement that it’s abandoned at the very least. Or take down the download page, at the very very least! To do otherwise is very disrespectful to the users.
Here’s a solution
So the problem is that when you installed Java 7, the MMOUI Minion file itself was not upgraded. It will still work fine if Java 6 is used. So we need two things. We need (1) Java 6, and we need (2) to make MMOUI Minion use it. Neither is exactly straightforward, but neither is impossible, either.
Getting the software
- Go http://www.oracle.com/technetwork/java/javase/downloads/jre6downloads-1902815.html.
- Select the Accept License Agreement button (the “red” circle).
- Select the Windows download of your choice (the “pink” circle). There are three variants – x86 offline and online, and Windows 64. If you’re not sure if you need the Win64 version, select the x86 version.
- Click on the appropriate link and download it.
- Once you’ve downloaded it, run the installer. You want to make sure that it goes into its own directory – for example, on my PC it’s C:\Program Files\Java\jre6\, leaving Java 7 in C:\Program Files\Java\jre7\.
Setting it up
Okay, you got Minion and you got Java 6. Here’s where we put it all together.
- Locate your MMOUI Minion icon.
- Right click on it to bring up its properties dialog.
- Select SHORTCUT.
- Under “Target” you should see: “C:\Program Files\MMOUI Minion\minion.jar” ((Or something very similar. Once again, if you chose other than the default, I trust you know how to translate my instructions.))
- Change this to: “C:\Program Files\Java\jre6\bin\java.exe” -jar “C:\Program Files\MMOUI Minion\minion.jar” This will force Java 6 to be used to run the program.
- Select the APPLY button and close the dialog.
Double-click the icon to test out your work. If all is well, you’ll see a console window pop open, then the Minion program. Unfortunately, you may have to re-configure it if you recently re-installed in a desperate attempt to make it work. Sorry, can’t help you there.
If you’re annoyed by the console window, however, I CAN help.
- Reopen the properties dialog for the icon (right-click).
- Next to the RUN label, select MINIMIZED. (It was previously set at NORMAL WINDOW).
- Hit APPLY again and close the dialog.
And that’s it! I hope this has helped you.
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Last week I killed myself. I enjoyed it. I had served my purpose, but it was time for me to go, to make room for myself.
Let me essplain.
Way back in the mists of time, around 2010-2011 timeframe, you may recall I abandoned my longtime guild on Alleria to seek out a more amicable raiding environment.
I ended up on Azuremyst, raiding with the excellent guild Eff the Ineffable, lead by the dopest of all the GMs, Alas the ever-bubbly and yet fearsomest. We didn’t do too bad and actually managed to drop the endgame boss for Cata while it was still a thing.
Alas and many others – our core raiding team, really – went off to play with lightsabres, and the new management was unable to hold things together and we stalled out on Elegon.
There was talk at that point of joining Alas and a couple of our other former Effers on another server and maybe contributing to the raiding there. But my broken bandwidth and an outflux of players in the new guild resulted not only in no raids but also in Alas and others leaving the game completely.
An empty guild that has nothing but strangers is no fun, and as a result, Grimmtooth hasn’t been in play hardly at all. Until today.
Grimmtooth Jr has been holding my spot on Alleria since that day that I moved off to AZ. Every saturday, he runs one quest, to ensure he didn’t get marked idle. He started his own guild, he got a bank, he’d been helping to stash and warehouse stuff for the team, but his services are no longer required. So I killed him.
And now I’m back where it all began, on Alleria. I don’t expect I’ll get much raiding done – Jasra’s too much in demand – but I don’t really mind at this point. It’s just nice to be back among friendly faces. Our little social guild may not be a realm-firster, or even raiding current content with success, but every night you can see at least a handful of people hanging out, doing their thing and having a good time.
It’s good to be home.
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Well, we thought we had a handle on healers, but our guild ended up being so hard up for one that I got dragged back into the sunlight again. So I’ve been Atone-ing my little elvish ass off and sweating like a software engineer at a mixer party, but not having much time to hit the Island of Mucho Loot (The Elvish name is untranslatable).
So I replaced my iLevel 450 shoulders tonight. And this happened.
Cataclysm. Or, as I like to call it, The Long Hangover.
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Hi, how ya been? It’s been weeks, I know! But it’s for a really good reasnon … see, Grimmtooth Actual done went and got himself a job, and it’s been keeping him as busy as a Goblin at a bank vault explosion site. It’s been pretty crazy, is what I’m saying. So time to think, compose, write, and otherwise participate in all things bloggy has been in short supply. There’s also the fact that with my WoW time somewhat reduced, I’ve had a bit less inspiration to write anything, anyway.
SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT, HIGGLEY PIGGLEY WITHOUT CONSIDERATION FOR ORDER OR PROPRIETY.
FAIRLY WARNED BE YE, SAY I.
Read the rest of this entry »
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The Godmother of ALT:ernative is cooking up some Hunter goodness, but, alas, she ran into some sort of obstacle and, sadly, was forced to present this on her site:
[Please imagine that there is an AWESUM HUNTER GRAPHIC HERE, which will appear sometime late Saturday when
I get home to scan the drawing I did especially for the occasion...]
Never let it be said that I wasn’t there for my fellow Hunters. I present to you: a placeholder.
I’m no Picasso, but it does come close to capturing a fraction of the awesomeness that is the Hunter class.
Meanwhile, head on over there and give the nice lady your support!
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Note: this post contains spoilers about a fifteen year old science fiction movie. If you haven’t seen it yet, I have no pity. This is as close to a warning you will get.
It also contains spoilers about the end of Patch 5.2. If you haven’t completed that yet, you probably won’t anyway. Like me.
If you have done the Legendary quest chain to the point where you have slain the Thunder King and brought his heart to Wrathion, you get this bit of dialog, amongst others.
Wrathion says: WE HAVE FALLEN. WE MUST REBUILD THE FINAL TITAN. DO NOT FORGET.
I had to think about that a bit. Where have I seen this before?
"There is danger. Remember."
"There is danger. Remember."
"There is danger. Remember."
In case this scene isn’t familiar, this is from a Babylon 5 TV movie, Thirdspace. And it kind of relies on you having seen the entire TV series to date, so imma splain.
No. It is too much. Imma summarize.
The B5 universe is inhabited by many races, one which is an ancient and god-like race called the Vorlons. Nobody knows much about them, and few have ever seen their homeworld. One person, the woman in the picture above, has. Her name is Lyta Alexander, and she is a telepath. It was revealed in the TV series that she often telepathically communicated with the Vorlon ambassador, Kosh, and "carried a piece of him around" in her head – for what purpose, it is unknown. But in the past we have seen evidence that certain triggers can activate what is loosely called "programming" left behind by Kosh – for example, she destroyed the Shadow homeworld as it was about to be claimed by the Alliance forces.
So when Lyta sees this "Thirdspace" artifact that is the centerpiece of this movie’s plot, she drops into a trance and starts scribbling those four words on the walls of her quarters, over and over again. An embedded warning, we learn, from the bit of Kosh’s latent programming.
Now, if her warning to herself seems somehow familiar, look again at Wrathon’s babbling at the start of this post and tell me you don’t see some sort of parallel.
Why is this significant? Well, let’s let Lyta explain.
"I tried to tell you. I failed. Now it is too late. The door is opening."
Delenn: "What mistake?"
Lyta: "The first one. The one from which all other mistakes proceed. The error of Pride."
"The saw us as gods. And we, in our pride, began to believe them."
"We were so intent on getting out, that we neglected to think of what we might be letting in. Until it was too late."
"They are a power beyond comprehension. A hunger beyond understanding. They are anti-life itself."
We’re in tinfoil hat territory, folks.
This is not the first parallel between B5 and WoW. Not by a long shot. B5 had a prophet named Valen. We have a prophet named Velen.
Valen was actually a "present-day" human that went back in time to fight in the last Shadow War and transformed into a Minbari (an old, wise, race that did not have horns and hooves, but other parallels are there) named Valen, who then led the Minbari to victory, and who prophesied about the NEXT Shadow War, which, coincidentally started up just before he went back in time.
Velen is a Draenai, former Eredar, of Argus. Or is he? For all I know, he’s Anduin Wrynn, come back from the future.
There are other parallels, but just whetting your appetite there. Are the Orcs equivalent to the Narn? Or maybe the Tauren? Forsaken = Drazi? Does this cast Jaina as Delenn or Ivonova? Oh, there are so many possibilities – and of course, I’m not saying Blizz is drawing its script from J. Michael Strazynski, I’m just saying that there are notes that I hear in both songs, as it were.
And that’s where Wrathion’s babbling comes in. His warning – DO NOT FORGET – really smells a lot like Lyta’s warning to herself. And if that’s a parallel, then what are we saying here – are the Titans cast as the arrogant Vorlons? Some other force – the Legion, for example? – in the role of the Thirdspace aliens?
And what is the equivalent to the Thirdspace Artifact, then? Portal’s done. Sunwell’s closed. The Maelstrom? Could Mad Deathwing’s demise there have caused something to start cooking? Could somebody possibly drop a benny in the Well of Eternity under Nordrassil? Well, there are a few possibilities, assuming they didn’t just do something new. I hear there’s a corner of Stormwind still standing. Let’s open a portal there!
Things to Come
We know from a specific roadmap allegedly from 2003 that the next expansion is likely (by that map) to be "Legion Set", which really ties in well with this. I would not be at all surprised if the next expansion, assuming it’s the Legion Set, opens with Wrathion delivering a dire warning about something that the Dwarves or Goblins or both were tinkering with at the Maelstrom, or maybe the Tauren and Elves at Nordrasil. Or maybe he just flips out and does the deed himself. Either way, the setup seems pretty … convenient.
So there’s that.
The epic struggle at the heart of B5 was the Alliance / Shadow war, or more specifically, the build up to the war, the struggles internal and external, the realization that the Shadow War wasn’t strictly a war against The Shadows, and the discovery that no matter how big you are, there’s always a bigger fish.
While it hasn’t always been front and center, the war between the Legion and the Titans has always been at the heart of things, and unexpectedly, the Pandaria campaign may have just dropped us right back in the middle of it. We have a pretty strong suspicion that it’s coming, anyway, but this and previous things from Wrathion really do seem to point in that direction.
It’s the end of the Plan as we know it
Blizzard’s never been happy with that post on Allakhazam, especially since it seems to be so accurate. I’m sure they’ll be happy to get past the Legion expansion, should it happen, so they can venture into territory that we have even fewer clues on. That’s not to say the Titans won’t figure into it again.
As Lyta concluded: "One mistake. One of many. So many."
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Back when I was a mid-30′s scrub serving my enlistment in the Argent Dawn, my squad got reassigned to Silithus. No, not in the battle taking place there, but as support, and by support I mean scrubs – we scrubbed things, we cleaned, we picked up the grounds, we groomed the horses – anything that needed done around camp while the "real heroes" went out and gathered Slithyst.
We were the first such scrub division sent there. Things were pretty rough in camp before we got there – they were even using latrines and eating out in the open. We brought tents, lumber, craftsmen, and, most importantly, good Dwarven outhouses. I guess you could say we were among the first to post a head in Silithus.
Among the duties we had, none was more loathsome than working in the mess tent. Nobody liked the scullery, nobody liked food prep, nobody liked provisioning, and, most loathsome, nobody liked to cook.
Whoever got the job usually took it out on his mates by making the most horrific food of all time. It was terrible. We’re talking goblin water … dog-bottom pie … basilisk gizzards … I mean, it was terrible!
It was so bad that they had to decree that whoever complained the most about the food would get stuck with the job.
Yep. You guessed it. That was me. Ol’ Crockolisk Mouth. On one fine evening I bit into a Silithid egg tart that was still squirming, and could take no more. I let loose with a torrent of abuse that brought me to the attention of the archbishop later on. The local authorities were no less annoyed. "Okay, smart guy", they said. "You do the cooking, see what YOU can do!"
Well, like those before me, I set about the task of getting out of the job. All I had to do was get somebody else to complain about my cooking, and I’d be out of the kitchen.
I went out into the wilderness and scouted for something suitable, and wandered by a pen full of Kodos we had captured up in the Barrens on our way down from Ratchet. As I watched these huge beasts, one of them let loose with what kodos do best. As it splattered on the ground, it caused a miniature gust of rancid wind, and I had a great idea – I’d make them some Kodo Turd pie!
So I fetched a pail and a shovel and a clothespin for my nose – the Light wouldn’t help me on this nefarious task – and gathered up my mats. There was plenty there, enough for several pies, and it was ripe – a real steamer!
I got back to the kitchen and did the deed – nice flakey crust, whipped creamy topping, festive dates and pecans to give the pies an allure that belied what they were.
And then it was supper time.
The dinner bell went off and the scrubs came piling in. One sergeant – a veteran of the Silver Hand, I think – went straight for desert and grabbed him a nice big slice of pie. He plopped himself down like a fool on the stool, and took a big bite. His eyes bulged out and he leaped to his feet!
"BY THE LIGHT!", he cried, "THAT’S KODO-TURD PIE!!"
Everybody turned to look at him … he took a deep breath …
"It’s good, though," he said meekly, and sat back down.
I was stuck with the cook’s job for six months. I still won’t speak to the man.
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